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Hunger

a Memoir of (my) Body
Feb 26, 2018mswrite rated this title 5 out of 5 stars
There are (so many) moments in this brutally uncompromising account of author Roxanne Gay's life that are so appalling, and awful, that several times I closed the book and put it away for a day or so. I had to. It just got too painful to continue. As I write this I'm thinking of Gay's memory of participating in a public reading with other authors, where she had to struggle to take her place on the stage (a raised platform that had no stair) and then was forced to squeeze herself into a chair that, like so many chairs Gay encounters, was much too small for her girth, praying it wouldn't break beneath her. Then there was the chapter on her travel ordeals. Her account of the unforgivable meanness she encountered on one especially harrowing airplane ride actually evoked in my mind images of jeering villagers with pitchforks cornering a Frankenstein monster. I could see Roxanne turning toward the window, trying to hide her silent weeping; it broke my heart. Maybe the most chilling passage comes near the end of the book where *SPOILER ALERT* Dr. Gay relates her efforts in tracking down the boy, now a successful, married man, who had betrayed and raped her. I read the pages sort of holding my breath, understanding her impulse yet fearful her curiosity (and rage) would lead to disaster, the outcome only exacerbating her pain. I still worry for her. And I wonder about him. Is redemption even possible for "Christopher"? Does he want redemption? Does he know who Roxanne Gay is now and has he read her damning memoir? When his phone rings does he know what the silence on the other end of the line means?